This post began as a wondering musing of my transformation from wife to submissive wife, and was turning into quite to novel, so I have decided to break it up into three separate posts. This first installment I am focusing on how rules/rituals have begun to help me. Very early in our decision to become a D/s couple, I was fortunate to discover a blog written by another submissive wife. She is known as Missy and her blog, SubMissy, is fantastic!!! I love to read her submissive musings and how her and her Dom, HisLordship, have incorporated D/s into their marriage whilst living with children, animals, and jobs…So they are a real couple with a real family, living D/s 24/7. Over time I have come to view Missy as a mentor. Her posts are direct, real, and discuss just about anything you can think of. One day she wrote a post titled: Respect the Rules, and reading that had a very profound effect on me.
Earlier this year, My Sir and I decided that I should quit my job so I could focus more on what needed to be taken care of at home. I have been very blessed over the course of our marriage to have times when I have not needed to work, and could be, what I term, ‘a kept woman’. Many of these times were when our children were very young, so I was afforded the opportunity to be there for them and watch them grow. And with that said, there have been times when it has been necessary for me to work outside of the home because we needed the extra income. This last time I sought out employment, it was because I was bored at home and needed the extra outlet for my creative and people loving skills. I loved my job!!!…for the first six months, then my employer hired a consulting firm to help make his firm more marketable, and then I didn’t love my job so much. I am all about making a success of a business (why else start one), but I soon started to feel like paperwork and the dollar were becoming more important than the people that we were there to serve. My Sir saw that I was loosing my spark, so we discussed it, and he told me I could retire, if I wanted to. I love that man! “Besides,” he told me, “I like you at home making our house a home.” Sigh…I love that man…sorry, already said that. We had a trip planned to visit one of our children in February, so I put my notice in, and did not go back to work after the trip. The first little bit was fantastic! I would drive my daughter to school in the mornings, come home, putter around the house, plan a lovely evening meal, pick my daughter up from school, serve said meal, and retire for the evening.
Soon, I started to realize that I had plenty of time to indulge in my favorite pastime: reading. I must confess, I do not just read, I devour books! I love to get to know the characters and everything about the world they live in/come from. If a book is in a series, I will read EVERY book in the series and then some, to include novellas and any other materials that are associated with the series. Hours turned into days, days into weeks, weeks into months…can you see where this is going? After awhile I began to tend to my fictional friends more than My Sir or my family. I knew this was getting out of hand, but what to do? I did not have any other schedule to adhere to, so I continued on my fictional road and became more and more unhappy with myself. I had begun my time at home with such high expectations for myself, and then I had let myself, and everyone around me, especially My Sir, down. Then along comes Missy’s post on respecting rules and, voila, I had gained some much needed clarity. I love structure: rules, and schedules…I actually crave them if I am being completely honest. I knew that I needed to schedule my time and have rules and structure to make me accountable for how I spent my time. My Sir and I went out for lunch the next day and I explained what I needed and he immediately set to work to create a schedule for each day of the week for me. I told him what I wanted to accomplish (chores, outside activities, and creativity time) and he put it all in a nice neat format that I could embrace. We also discussed some things that he would like to see happen in the home, and one of those things was for me to make the bed everyday.
Long side note here: I hate making the bed!!! I was never made to make my bed as a child and soon grew to see it as a complete and utter waste of time by those who did. Why waste any amount of time straightening, primping, and preening a space that I was just going to lay waste to again in a few hours…completely not my thing. The only time I ever made my bed was when I was in the military, and that was because it was mandatory. Well, either that or I could clean toilets, scrub floors, and loose my personal time to more cleaning of toilets and scrubbing of floors. So, I made my bed. After My Sir and I were married and we were able to move out of the military dorms and into our own space…no more made bed, except for the occasional times when we had special company and My Sir thought they might see our bedroom (close the door I said…make the bed he said…blah, blah, blah).
This was a very simple request from him, and at the same time, was such a monumental thing for me to do! I agreed to adhere to the schedule we had set for me, and to accomplish the few other tasks he asked of me, to include making the bed every day. This has been LIFE CHANGING!!! Sorry to shout, but it was needed for the full effect. It has now been two months and I have made the bed…Every. Single. Day…well, there was the day I did not get out of bed because I was sick and My Sir told me to stay there, so that does not count. I, now, love making the bed!!! Making the bed has come to symbolize my commitment to My Sir and our D/s relationship. Everyday when he comes home from work I know that he will eventually go up to our room and see the made bed, and when he does, the look of happiness and contentment on his face makes it so worth the few minutes it took me to do. Me making the bed is now a ritual I perform to show My Sir how much I love and appreciate him and all that he does to take care of and provide for me and our family. To be perfectly honest, I get a little horny every time I make the bed thinking of all the things we did to get it messy and I look forward to messing it up again!
This is an actual picture of our bed that (I am totally going to brag on My Sir) he made for me!!! It is a beautiful bed that deserves to be straightened, primped, and preened to show off its beauty and artistry and the love that went into its making…from beginning to end! So, the making of the bed has led me to my next post: The Making of a submissive.